Honey ESPN shrunk my television!!

My tv was smaller when I woke up this morning. My tv was smaller. Someone/something made the already small tv in my apartment even smaller. How is this possible? Tvs can't simply be condensed, dragged to smaller proportions -- there's no flexibility in a tv.

I started at my tv in disbelief. Did this happen? Am I forever cursed to watch my favorite shows and sports on a smaller screen? I switched the channel from ESPN and magically, spontaneously, instantaneously, my tv became bigger. It was back to its normal dimensions, it was back to the tv I used to love and watch. But I wanted to see baseball highlights so I switched back to ESPN, and it shrunk. ESPN SHRUNK MY TV!!

I didn't understand why ESPN, my source for sports, my lifeline, would purposefully shrink my TV.

I figured ESPN had some purpose in doing this horrible thing. I looked closer at the screen and saw filler, metallic filler on top with sportscenter logo etched into this filler. And on the right side? A timeline of the stories sportscenter will cover.

Its great ESPN lets me know what stuff is coming up next in the broadcast. But I can wait five minutes. Plus, there has been few times when sportscenter actually surprised me with something (see chess boxing). Whats next? Baseball highlights, news about Barry Bonds, scores from the NBA playoffs, top 10. The surprise comes from watching the highlight, not in the anticipation of watching it. Please return my tv to its normal size.

Chess Boxing - Brain Meets Brawn

Normally, documentary-like segments on ESPN are forgettable. Its a time to grab a quick snack, get something to drink, or take a quick nap. They are on par, though not as bad, as the sappy and overly-nostalgic segments run during the Olympics, where an over the hill announcer, like Jim Gray, describes the history of a sport or the background of someone competing. Its very nauseating. So when another one came up on sportscenter, I started to grab the remote and find out whats on HBO (which recently has been a movie about some bloody crusade of man against in-bred mutant, starring a Steve Nash look a-like, especially after he received a nasty gash on his face, and his shotgun and butcher knife).

I was close to turning when Jeremy Schapp mentioned the phrase Chess Boxing. Chess Boxing? My first thought was of a real-life chess game, where people would represent each piece and then fight each other. The game would be decided based on 1)chess strategy and 2)if your pawn/rouke/knight could kicked the shit out of your opponent's pieces.

Unfortunately, what I imagined was not the case. Chess boxing involves rounds of both chess and boxing, simply stated. Participants play speed chess for 4 minutes, then box for 2 minutes, and this repeats another 11 times. One minute breaks between rounds allows the board to be removed from the ring and for players to put on their gloves. After a few rounds of getting punched in the face, I would imagine the ability to think and play chess decreases a little.

Chess Boxing exists mainly in Britain -- Lennox Lewis plugs this hybrid sport and I assume, also competes (check out the website for the world boxing organization). I don't imagine he loses at all, since he is an intelligent guy and one of the best heavyweight boxers of all-time. It would be impossible to focus on chess when you have a 6-5 tree trunk sitting a foot away from you, thinking about the amount of pain he will inflict. Boxing is the pinnacle of sports to begin with -- it requires strength, flexibility, quick thinking, and planning. To add boxing to this spectacular sport is a little much, but I wouldn't mind watching a fight/match.

On a similar note I am looking forward to watching the repeat of the Mayweather/De La Hoya on HBO this upcoming saturday. Even though I've heard the outcome, I still want to watch these two champion fighters take each other down.

The Thermals - The Body, the Blood, and the Machine

Walk down to your basement. Sit down on a chair, turn on the Thermals and picture them playing in your basement, in the corner, playing two and half minute songs with an amazingly raw sound. Hear the voice, listen to the lyrics - intelligent, creative, pushing the boundaries. Listen to the guitar, the three cords, the simplicity, the energy. Listen to everything.

The Body, the Blood, and the Machine is the third album from The Thermals, a band from Portland, home to other great bands like the Shins and Decemberists, that exploded onto the music scene with a mix of thoughtfulness and dedication.

The Thermals play, record, write because they love music. Their compassion is obvious after listening to the album, its obvious after one or two minutes into the first song. There are no ulterior motives, nothing secondary to the music itself. When I listen to the Thermals, I see myself in some kind of basement, even if its not my own (apartments don't have basements and the one back at home is too filled with junk and wine). I am listening to their music, pure, raw, simple. I am holding a beer and hanging out with friends, listening to the Thermals. The sound bounces off the concrete walls, everyone is dancing, with minimal care. What matters is the music and the atmosphere it creates.

Singer/guitarist Hutch Harris agrees:
"Ever since we started this band, we've always been excited about music, but something about this project we started when we were 26 made us immediately feel like 16 again. Somehow it made us feel super-young and super-energized about making fun music."

The Thermals - Here's Your Future